Poke Poke* It's so dead

I wanted to blog a few times, about random dreams and plans for the future and such, but, so lazy, so lazy. My excuse is that to blog I need to sign into my google account using my Hotmail while my gmail is always signed in, so I'd have to sign out of my gmail, and sign into google accounts using my Hotmail and it's just too troublesome!

God is a He,

a Father, a Son. The ultimate embodiment of a Man for the rest of us aspire to, being able to Create without a woman... I guess it was pretty easy for the predominantly male leadership of the Church to solidify the ideology of what men and women are supposed to be.

Oooh this is a ranty post. Heh it's thanks to this 5 pillars of Manhood article.

Now the first major issue with this article is that the "Pillars of Manhood" are all in the context of "loving and respecting" a woman, creating a focus on the relationship between men and women, where this idea of what men are supposed to be, determines the assumptions of what women are.

1. "Lead. A man must be the leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship"

So... Women are indecisive followers. No excuses.


2. "Protect. A real man of God will protect his partner...Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with."

So... Women require protection, they are vulnerable, emotional and, in danger and distress.


3. "Provide. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man...Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care.."

So... Women are dependent on the Man, because if a man can't provide he isn't a man. Women are beautiful fragile flowers, to be handled with care, provided for in every way.


4. "Integrity. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation."

At first, I was okay with pillar number 4. But I thought more about it... In old times, women were assumed to be fickle, prone to flights of fancy, and there was not much weight placed on their words. If Integrity is a pillar of manhood, what is it to women? If it is a quality that should be prized in both men and women, why is it a pillar of MANhood?


5. "Courage. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties."

Same type of problem as pillar 4... What does making Courage a pillar of Manhood assume about women? Couldn't they use courage too? Aren't women brave too? Oh yeah, give me some crap about how it's a different type of courage, please.

Just look at that line. It's disgusting. The courageous knight rescuing the beautiful damsel. Oh snap if a man was saved by a woman he should rip his balls off right then and there.


I realize that my reaction against this article is almost completely the same as my reaction to Wild at Heart, and now I'm thinking, "wow Jaeson Ma must have gotten most of his points from there...." So what is a man? A real Man: Don't need sleep, Hunts, Can't be defined.... Meh obviously, I don't have the answer...

Or do I? The thing is, it would be MY answer. Yours may not be the same.

Part of being a Man is not needing sleep.

Yeah, I didn't sleep.
I'm 21 today.
There was a post in the planning, with mentions of how I got Milo + Oreo McFlurry, and pro-procrastinating, and a wish list, etc. etc.... But I'm not a Man yet, definitely...need...sleep.
I'm going to KO sometime later.

Failure

When you bite off more than you can chew... Suck on it till you can.

I dreamt that I completely didn't do the Results and Discussion section for the stupid Research Report and I handed it up. Strangely, in my title, there was an almond flake. And I was complaining that after printing the texture and colour is completely different.

Felt like parents getting divorced

I dreamt that two people I care about, a couple that are to me, so... legendary... broke up. The strange thing was, I found out because the guy was talking to me, and he told me a secret, that they had actually been apart for a while, and was keeping appearances up because he knew that their breakup would break so many people's heart...

Sausage Fist

So before I slept last night, I was thinking about the future, and I said that it'd be nice, God, if you showed me what I will be in the future in a dream. I'm pretty sure he didn't answer me.

I was in the jungle, battling cavemen. Wachow! Kick em into the hot mud pools!

Suddenly, a caveman in a business suit appeared. The rest of them hung back to watch, obviously this was the caveman boss or something. The business suited up caveman rushed forward and grabbed me, and was about to throw me into the hot mud pool! Somehow I knew that this caveman was a striker, and by grappling and trying to throw me, he was looking down on me.

But his grip was pretty insane, and I knew that he was perfectly capable of throwing me all the way to the pool. Quickly I shouted, "Frankfurter!!" and in an instant, the caveman was holding a bunch of sausages instead of me.

He was shocked, and I took the opportunity to attack him, punch punch punch Wing Chun style! He laughed it off, and started throwing lightning fast kicks which was his true specialty. I defended desperately, grab grab grab the kicks! After the exchange, I jumped back, my hands were hurting pretty bad.

But! Look at the caveman's legs! They kinda looked like sausages. It was time for the final attack, I rushed forward and entangled his necktie with a long sausage rope, and tied him up! Then I threw him into the hot mud pool MUAHAHHAHAA!

Keeping it alive. DreamJournalling lol

I dreamt of pork burgers, it was from a truck stall, after that I swam across a lake to a child care centre place, where a little girl rode on my back. She was nine. She wasn't mine.

I am quite obvious sometimes, and my dreams are pretty easy to analyze, but don't be fooled, I am a layered pastry. With chunky peanut butter and curry.

Can't wait for uni to be over, for myself to get better, the moment I stop feeling like my body weighs a ton, I'm going to run. Hmm.. rhyming lines. Swim too. Wanna buy a bike. And a sledgehammer.

It's playing in my head.

Open your eyes I see
Your eyes are open
Wear no disguise for me
Come into the open

When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

Always, I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony,
harmony oh love~~~

Melting the ice for me
Jump into the ocean
Hold back the tide I see
Your love in motion

When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

Always, I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony,
harmony oh love~~~

I'm sorry, Charis.

Sometimes I'm irritating. I don't know why, and I'm sure I could help it... but at the time I do it, I think it's pretty funny.

*hunter spawn sound* I got an sms.

It said, "Hey charis here. Do u have rachel chua number?"

I wanted to send the number immediately. But instead....

I replied, "Yes."

*hunter spawn sound* "Lols. Can you give me her number? Thanks."

Oh dear, it's not over.

"Yes."

*hunter spawn sound* "Hey. Can you text me rachel chua number? I really need it urgently."

I resisted the urge to answer "Yes." again.

3 Month Plan! (Sept 13th - Dec 13th)

This time it allows gym. I went yesterday, with Andrew, Daniel and Brandon. I pressed 95lbs, which is 44kg, which is only slightly higher than the average Japanese high school student's press, 40kg (according to the manga: EyeShield21).

Exercising with friends is definitely much much better than doing it alone for sure, but I was reminded how much I hate treadmills due to the hamster sensation. I got pretty sick of that Maybank that always stayed the exact same distance away from me. Anyway, the bounciness of running on the treadmill resulted in this conversation:

Jared: *Puuuuuut* Hey guys, sorry, I farted.
Guys: Arrrrghh *choke choke* AAA Aaaa
Jared: Muahahaha
Everyone: HeeHeeHohohooho
.
.
5 minutes of intense running later
.
.
Jared: *starts feeling relaxed* Hey! Hey guys! I think I got my SECOND WIND! *Phreeeeeet* Ooh?... SECOND WIND! Hahahhahahaha I farted AGAIN!

Good Times

Time is passing pretty fast, week 8 is already over. I've been having a good time, and I only count seconds in my head when I have nothing to do.

On Wednesday, I did two assignments, listened to a great talk where that lawyer dude explained my opinions much better than I can (I just can't be bothered to rationalize a lot of my points, my maths teacher said I like shortcuts too much), went to Murni's... and I just realized that I have not had Ramly the entire week.

Thursday, I went to work at this show car detailing place with Chris Sam. But I was there an hour early as I forgot the roads would be absolutely empty. We were undermanned, and overworked due to people wanting to prettify their cars before balik kampung... But it was fun. Very fun. When I got back home I decided to sleep on my mattress which I've been neglecting since 30 hour famine...

I woke up at 12 p.m. on Friday. Had a huge raya lunch at grandma's house, Malay neighbours gave beef and chicken rendang, ketupat and kuihs, etc etc and we had siu yok and chicken pie too~ Then I went home... And my bed called to me... I woke up in the evening and my brother's tuition was canceled! So we were all "let's go watch a movie!" Except for V ming, who was all "cannot get tickets one lah" But I said "just go" (BTW Friday was my winging-it day, because of the excessive productivity of the past two days, hmm turns out when I wing-it, much time is spent sleeping)... Yes and we watched Resident Evil 4. Woohoo! Zombies! Boom. Using coins for shotgun ammo. Outstanding idea.

Ah after that it was sleepover at Danny's! I was lazy to tell the long story but hey! Brandon did it already! *CLICK*

We had a good time, but I have to correct Brandon, we slept at SEVEN a.m. And Saw V was fantastic. Taking the idea of how near-death experiences can change us greatly, and using it as a rehabilitation technique? It's outstanding indeed. For me, what makes a good horror movie is more than the effects, setting, plot etc... but also the psychological group dynamics, how the behavior of individuals contribute to the survival of the group...

Now, Brandon left before lunch, so he missed this extra part of the story. We went to Taipan for charsiewsiuyokfan. I double parked, because there was no place, and of course while happily in the middle of my food, pon pon pon, and I ran out and the guy was furious, fuming! Some uncle who ignored my cries of apology and immediately began blasting me with words that flowed past my ears without touching me, because well, I wasn't listening to him. Then he started to angrily complain to a nearby police officer (Yeah how unlucky, suddenly got police officer there) saying that I should be saman-ed.

So the policeman said "you pergi balai situ". I turned to the right, and oh wow, there was a balai about half a block away. So I moved my car to the balai, and walked into it with a heavy heart, thinking "haih. saman. I had a bad feeling when I double parked. I really did. I've gotta trust my gut more"... Anyway, when I went in, the policeman said "I tolong you, you tolong me" and I thought to myself "tapi I only ada 3 ringgit".... Turns out he meant that that uncle was an asshole that would bother him and say he tak buat kerja if he didn't give me saman. So he gave me a random police flyer and said "you buat macam ini saman saja la yeah. jalan keluar sedih sedih macam baru kena saman." ... HEE HEE HEE~ I even got a parking because he let me leave my car in front of the balai... Selamat Hari Raya, police-bro.

After that, I went shopping with Li Wen, which was so funny. Why was it funny? I don't know exactly why, well, Li Wen is funny, in general. When we came out it was raining super heavily so, we ran in the rain! Whoo! It was more like swimming I tell you. So fun. Haha. Then I had popiah at grandma's. My brother drove there and back! Whoo! Soon I will have to drive a lot less! I don't like driving! GO GO DRIVER-BRO!~

Hmmm... What's missing? I know! Pictures! Btw, Definitely, Maybe is now one of my favorite movies.

Abstinence

Have you ever had meat after a week of being vegetarian?

Have you taken a sip of water after hours of walking under an afternoon sun?

Have you slept on a bed after two weeks of sleeping on the floor?

...

That meat would taste like heaven, the water like life itself, and... you would wake up in the afternoon. Have lunch. Then go back for a nap.

Hey. I had two productive days in a row. Did you see my facebook status?

"2 days of productivity in a row!!! OMG OMG! Passed up TWO assignments yesterday! Today, got a free T shirt, lunch, and dinner, a lesson on how to prettify cars, exercise, a good time, met interesting people, and got paid rm50. Win? Yeah I think so."

Time is a gift

A free and precious gift to be enjoyed, appreciated.

Too often we see it as a resource, to be managed, hoarded, and used "wisely"...

One Two Jus!

I want to Learn

Food,

Language,

Cars,

Martial Arts,

Yoga, I want to do a split...

Massage,

Parkour,

Rock Climbing,

Sailing,

Art, wood, plants,

Dance,

Music, the harmonica!

Love.


In that order. Or not.

Always, Ancora Imparo.

Humility

To see my own ignorance and insignificance, and realize the death of the Ego, to be free of pride and arrogance, yet never modest or self-deprecating, a complete surrender of the self to the One that has always and will always be the Truth.
.
.
.


P.S. I wasn't flexing.

How narcissism made me inefficient.

Mom asked me to hang the clothes as she left for grandma's.

I took the clothes out from the washing machine. I walked by a mirror. "Woah," I thought to myself, I look so good~.

I started to hang the clothes. The mirror was right there in the same area, unfortunately, making me pause frequently to ogle myself, wondering why I look so exceptionally sexy~ this fine Merdeka! morning.

I finally realized that the sunburn I got from KG outing has become the beautiful~ tan it was always meant to be.

It took me really really long to finish hanging the clothes.

Generosity

When you see a need, fill that need.

I will always flow, please, never let me be stagnant.

I had a dream

That I drank some beer. Then I threw up, violently. I could taste the vomit in my mouth, it burned in my throat.

"Alcohol is for pickling things that are dead. Or people who wish to be."
"Beer is made from a grain that only cows can consume, and even they need two stomachs to manage the task."

Guru Patik says

"First we will open the Earth chakra, located at the base of the spine, it deals with survival, and is blocked by fear. What are you most afraid of? You must surrender your fears... let it flow down the creek.

Next is the Water chakra, which deals with pleasure, and is blocked by guilt. What do you blame yourself for? If you are to be a positive influence on the world, you have to forgive yourself. (It's located at the sexual organs)

Third is the Fire chakra, located in the stomach. This chakra deals with willpower, and is blocked by shame.

The fourth chakra is located in the heart, it deals with Love and is blocked by grief.

The fifth in the chain is located in the throat, it deals with Truth, and is blocked by lies. Especially the ones you tell yourself.

The sixth pool of energy is the Light chakra, located in the centre of the forehead. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The greatest illusion in this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. Everything is connected.

The Thought chakra is located at the crown of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachments. Meditate on what attaches you to this world, now, let all of those attachments go and let them flow down the river, forgotten."

Simplicity

What, or how much you have, has NOTHING to do with how happy you are, how good your life is. There is always a choice, a way to change one's circumstances.

I wrote this on the Wall of Hope, in Monash University's 30 hour famine camp. It's incredibly easy this time somehow.

Simplicity. This is probably the easiest one for me.

Flexibility

"The extent to which a person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in novel, creative ways"

To be adaptable, changeable, ready for anything. For body and mind to be fluid and moving... Flexibility is definitely a trait of Water.

Sexuality

How do we express our sexuality? What are expressions of sexuality? Is it the intention that matters?

"A look can be as sensual as touch, a finger brushed lightly over a cheek as erotic as penetration" - John White

Uncle Iroh says

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."

"The stomach is the source of energy in your body, it is called the Sea of Chi... but in my case, it's more like a vast ocean! HAHAHAHAHAHA"

Openness

Openness involves active imagination, aesthetic sensitivity, attentiveness to inner feelings, preference for variety, and intellectual curiosity (Costa & McCrae, 1992).

For me, this trait also refers to being honest, without deceit or shame.

But before this, I've been ignoring the emotional aspect of openness, I think I've somehow shut down my feelings... I woke up at 3.45 a.m. this morning, crying, because I had a dream that I had a Big Dog and it died.

p.s. I'm going to get in touch with my feelings~

SelfControl

Only by knowing the Self, by awareness and balance, instead of suppression of desires, true mastery comes when the truth is realized, control itself is an illusion.

p.s. I am now vegetarian till after the 30 hour famine.

Patience

Persevere. There is only Calm. No rush, no haste. Anger and frustration have no place.

40 days Fast

Side note, I am quite annoyed by word replacement, for example, religion vs way of life, ritual vs practices, and I think you're wrong vs Yes this is what I believe but you have the right to believe whatever you want to believe and yes part of my belief is that I am right and my God is the one and only.

What's up with the tolerance/pussyfooting around all afraid of offending others? I hate being politically correct. Do words matter? A genuine smile is worth more to me than a false "Thank you"... "Fuck" said lovingly vs a rapist saying "let me make love to you"...

Language is annoying and I wonder if animals ever misunderstand each other. Okay side note is over.


I shall fast from BFH. <<< This is the main post.

Lmao.

Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all fucking worse is that I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

***

Captain: Are you ready kids?
Kids: Aye-aye Captain.
Captain: I can't hear you...
Kids: Aye-Aye Captain!!
Captain: Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Ready?
EveryBody: SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: SpongeBob.... SquarePants! Haha.

Du du du du du du~

How I've changed

I updated my personality profile on facebook. After I did the test, I saw the date. I did it on this same day last year too. Unintentionally! So it's been exactly one year.

Openness: 83 >> 94. I became more open! I'm intellectually curious, and my beliefs are individualistic and unconventional!

Conscientiousness (Organizedness): 36 >> 55. Oo. I became more organized and efficient! Am I growing up?

Extraversion (Outgoingness): 95 >> 80. I'm still an extravert! But I don't like noisy parties. I AM growing up!

Agreeableness (Niceness): 36 >> 44. Ooo. I have become a nicer person.

Neuroticism (Emotional stability): 10 >> 0. But I no longer have feelings, apparently.

Did you know there might be another factor? Somehow Big 6 isn't as catchy as Big 5. Honesty/Humility. I got the question wrong in my psych exam. (Perception and Personality)

That test above is Costa and McCrae's (1992) Big Five Factor Trait theory personality test, for MBTI (Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator) I am an ENTP! (Can you tell? I studied) Prepare yourself for the wall of text that accurately describes me.

"ENTPs are frequently described as clever, cerebrally and verbally quick, enthusiastic, outgoing, innovative, and resourceful. ENTPs are motivated by a desire to understand and improve the world they live in. They are usually accurate in sizing up a situation. They may have a perverse sense of humor and sometimes play devil's advocate, which can create misunderstandings with friends, coworkers, and family. ENTPs are ingenious and adept at directing relationships between means and ends. ENTPs 'think outside the box,' devising fresh, unexpected solutions to difficult problems. However, they are less interested in generating and following through with detailed plans than in generating ideas and possibilities. ENTPs are quick to see complex interrelationships between people, things, and ideas. These interrelationships are analyzed in profound detail. The result is an in-depth understanding of the way things and relationships work, and how they can be improved."

I had a Big N' Tasty. I <3 burgers.

What do you want from me? Baby,

you're beautiful. And me, I'm a freak.

Holidays!

I can't wait. I'm going to finish the Runelords series, and Feist, and maybe Twilight again. Because I watched the trailer for Eclipse and realized I've forgotten the story. And watch Dexter. FTW. I wanted to put pictures. But I got lazy.

A bit antisocial

I am. I don't get parties. What the heck does "Fine" mean? And I'm really not interested in what you've been up to lately. And yeah, I still don't have a girlfriend. Wanna make out?

Perpetual Bliss

Yesterday was the last CF meeting of this sem and people were sharing about stuff they were thankful for, appreciating God and others, and most of them seemed to have had troubles and problems and difficulties.... and I was thinking to myself: omg the sem is over I didn't even feel it, what has been on my mind? Hmm nothing much, I've been rather stable this year, haven't changed, it seems I've just been living in a state of perpetual bliss and relaxahood. I was trying to remember if I was ever sad at all, and guess what, there was this one time right smack during the first assignment wave period that I was feeling really moodless cause everyone was doing assignments and didn't wanna play L4D2 and I hadn't played for 3 weeks....

Sometimes I think, hey it's not that I don't have problems, it's just that I'm so good at handling them. Then I accept the truth, that I really don't have problems.

I'm sooo fast du du du.

I've solved the mystery of the phantom vibrating handphone. You know, that phenomenon when you feel your handphone vibrate and you check it and wth there's nothing.

While I was eating my big and tasty Big N' Tasty (ho ho ho) my handphone vibrated! But omg I didn't even have it with me, I mean, I wasn't even wearing pants yo.

So yeah, I've realized, that it's your leg muscle that vibrates! One near the pocket area.

*******

Alright. Noticed a distinct lack of posts recently? You see, my blog is a what's-on-my-mind-that's-worth-sharing type of blog, and obviously, I have not had much on my mind. I had many more deep and insightful thoughts last year, especially during that period when I could not walk.

I used to think, that the thing I would fear losing the most is my mind. Today, I realized, that if I lost my mind, I wouldn't really miss it. But if I went all Stephen Hawking, I'd go insane anyway. Shifting values dum de dum.

*******

L8rz.

I was gonna update my FB status, then I decided to blog instead.

The dogs are going crazy, shitting and peeing everywhere. Meanwhile, I have finished preparing for the two Comm units and I've started studying up for Psych. It's painfully boring and I was falling asleep when I saw... "...reported by Holway and Boring (1941)." The heck? There's a guy named Boring.

Kids Nowadays. *shakes head*

Abel: Stupid penguin can't bounce

Jared: Can lah. Just make him go the flat angle. Like bouncing the stone.

Abel: ...

Jared: You know how to bounce stone right? Right? ... OMG you never bounce stone before?

***

Kids nowadays. *Shakes head*.

The Workout Plan

So me and Gerrit were debating on how useful is a Gym in getting a sexy body. A cheapskate like me is too cheapskate to pay for a gym, so I've decided that I can get that sexy body on my own. This is here because I don't have a pen, so I can't write it on paper. And if I did, I might lose it.

Monday - Pullups, Pushup/Crunch & Run
Tuesday - Weights & Abs
Wednesday - Sandbag, Sprints
Thursday - =Monday
Friday - =Tuesday
Saturday - =Wednesday
Sunday - Isometrics & Polymetrics

And study everyday. Oorah.

How to succeed in your studies.

You need 3Ps. Passion. Pride. Perseverance.

Unfortunately, I have Playfulness, Procrastination, but luckily Pure Luck as well.

Today at 10 a.m. in the morning, I started reading up for my 1500 word Ethics Report due next Wednesday. I finished at 1 something. Pure Luck I tell you. Pure Luck.

Birthdays, festivals,

etc. etc. are unnecessary. Anything worth celebrating is worth celebrating everyday.

Basketball Coach

I started training the F1 and F2 students today. They're so cute. There are too many though. Time to cull them using ridiculously painful physical training! *evil face*

Finding Nap Spot

10 a.m. Sending my brother to Sunway Pyramid. Sleepy. Driving makes me sleepy. Gonna take a nap in uni.

11 a.m. The library is closed! OMG

11.30 a.m. Been reading on a bench, it's getting hot.

12 p.m. Hehehe followed a med student into the med building there's air con there.

1 p.m. Waffles for lunch mmm.

1.30 p.m. Oh crap I can't get back in. I haven't had my nap. I'll go check the student lounge...

2 p.m. It was closed, EVERYWHERE IS CLOSED!

2.10 p.m. I shall pray before I take my nap. Thank you God, for the MultiFaith room, air conditioning and bean bags, and please give me sweet dreams, Amen.

Ipron Man 2

Friday morning I log into gsc.com.my to see that Iron Man 2 has been fully booked, and there are only 3 seats available left to be bought. They're all on the front row. But we still went to the cinema anyway, because if we didn't get tickets for Iron Man we could always watch Ip Man, or Kick Ass, or The Losers... whee summer...

Anyway, got tickets. I waited at the front of the counter for 3 minutes, watching people collect their booked tickets. It was a bit exciting, wondering if there would be any left. Yay I got to watch Iron Man 2.

It was really funny.

Unhealthy

I was so moodless today. Symptoms of deprivation. I feel much better now, still, addictions are unhealthy. It would be best to get rid of it.

Control

not by forcing actions, but by manipulating desires.

If you

wake up on Saturday afternoon, gorge on dimsum, go home and drink lots of Coke, then take a 3 hour nap, you will wake up feeling fat.

Start again

Working out. I realize that when I stop exercising I start to play more pointless online games. This might have something to do with how efficient I am resulting in huge amounts of free time with nbtd.

So because I don't want to spend so much time in front of the computer, and because I wanna have freaky veins on my abs, I've started working out again. Hohoho.

Cough, cough, cough

So fine, I'm not Jared. I just hijacked his blog because I made mine invisible to the general public. I was afraid of being stalked, you see, which is really weird because normally, I'm the one who stalks. I don't get stalked.

But despite not having a blog anymore, I still feel this compulsive need to share my thoughts with the world. Call me narcissistic. I suppose I am. Even my paranoia stems from narcissism.

The only active blog I have now (yes, I had/have many) is my booklog, which I've only recently started and is not that personal. Plus my name isn't on it so even if people google my name, it won't turn up. Yes!!

I must admit though, that one of the things that I like best about blogging is the layout bit. I like finding the perfect layout for my blog. And then I like tweaking and customizing it till it's shaped into what I want it to be. Playing around with the codes and whatever, it's like writing poetry. I love Minima on Blogger.

It occurs to me suddenly that I can tweak Jared's blog. His only condition is that I keep the header image. :)

What I ate today.

For breakfast, 5 nuggets and 7 onion rings from the Fried Food Lady at uni. No, I don't know the real name of the place.

I felt really poor after that expensive breakfast (rm6) I didn't feel like spending much during lunch so I endured being the 5th wheel during lunch to have some of Rachel's leftover veggies.

A bit later, I watched an episode of HowIMetYourMother with Charmain while having her apple, and 2 bites of her awesome Ham, Cheese + Salad sandwich. We hid in a corner of the aquarium. I think she got a thrill from breaking the no-food-in-the-library rule.

At 2, I had my third lunch, that sugar toast from the vending machine, and Rachel's leftover potato rostie.

When I got home, I realized that I wouldn't be able to have dinner with my family, because bball training starts 30 mins after our dinnertime. So I scavenged and found 4 McDonald's nuggets and some fries, and half a yao chua kai and a ham chim peng.

Whoo.

Another one early

Hehe. Think I could get used to this.

Freeloader

I have not been sleeping well, my dreams have been...intense, lately, and I feel tired during the day... I slept earlier than usual last night, and I woke up too early, I heard my mom feeding Jacob and I remembered her talking about how at 6 a.m. it's feeding time for him and he knows it, if he doesn't get his food he'll make some noise... I thought to myself... what a freeloader. Pets are such freeloaders, they just use up resources and don't give anything back... then I stopped and thought... oh what the hell... what about me?

"I feel like I know you"

is such a retarded line.

Why does it even work? It's an insult! It's says that you're simple, and one-dimensional.


I'd much rather spend a lifetime figuring you out.

I finished an assignment early!

I wanted to try being hardworking and studious so I started my assignment early, and... I have finished early! The only other time I've finished an assignment before the due date itself is that time last year, when the lecture was so unbearably boring that I just stopped going and didn't hear the announcement that we got an extension.

It took me a week though... >.<"

Hard to work without that last-minute pressure.

Slurp Slurp.

I've noticed a trend on television and films lately. It's not only the female body that is objectified. Male bodies are increasingly displayed on purpose, and the quality of these male bodies have increased as actors strive to be presentable. I think it's because the entertainment industry isn't just catering to men anymore. The "male gaze" doesn't work today because women are just as powerful as consumers in this age. Mmm.

Life is a joke

It's amusing, it's entertaining. You gotta learn to see the humor, in existence. Life is a grand joke, and it's damn funny.


=D

It's a promise.

When you don't know which path to choose, let me come along, cause even if you're wrong, I'll stand by you.

On-Off

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Unless you're the kind that enjoys a nice warm piss shower.

Being angry isn't that fun. Your face gets all scrunched up and unattractive, and you become a lot more stupider.

Sigh. Brain is dead. Wanna wrestle. Don't wanna think.

Social rule b.99.1

Click to enlarge.

According to Rachel, I'm "Soft".

According to Rachel, I'm "Soft" when I take shots (in bball). Maybe it's revenge for the way I keep telling everyone, "SHE SHOOTS LIKE A GUY". Haha. I think she means I look relaxed though.

I got a huge carpet burn on Wednesday when Cheng Hong was riding me in the CF room.

There... is ooze coming out of it now. The carpet burn.

More RAKs

I did two really Random ones yesterday. Haha. I didn't have to go out of my way, but I actually had to give up something. 60 sens, and having to smell like garbage.

Felt pretty good.

Altruism

1. Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness.
2. Animal behavior. Instinctive behavior that is detrimental to the individual but favors the survival or spread of that individual's genes, as by benefiting its relatives.

Is humanity broken? So many of us do not instinctively behave altruistically, rather we have to purposefully set our mind to the task of performing "acts of love". Yesterday, I asked, 'How would I go about doing an act of love?' (It is my KG's homework for this week)

Cae Me who is not from Monash but somehow in my Monash CF KG, answered, 'Give way on the road, carry something heavy for someone, give a hug, say something nice; all these can be acts of love'

But I do these things everyday. Giving way on the road lessens jam, giving hugs and saying nice things makes people happy which makes things easier, carrying something heavy for someone saves time when that person is weak... It just makes sense to me, to do such things. It is certainly not altruism, because my motives are completely selfish, doing these things do benefit me greatly.

How can I be selfless? I do believe I have never done anything that I can't see being beneficial to me somehow sometime in the future...

Am I broken?

1st RAK?

It's Clubs & Societies week at Monash. All the clubs have booths set up and they try to get new members. I'm in Bball, Handball, Swimming, and CF. I think that's enough for now. I got my first RAK on Monday.

As I was walking past some booths, the wind knocked down the whiteboards, and so I helped the booth ppl pick up their whiteboard and set it right. Well. This one wasn't planned at all so it really was random. I realize that I've probably done countless such things since then, I really don't think about it, because it's so on-the-way. I would never say no to helping someone if I didn't have to go out of my way. So, is it really that much of a kindness? It only took a few seconds, to right those whiteboards...

I had to take care of the Handball booth by myself today for about an hour. I was so bored that I started challenging random passerbys to arm-wrestle me. I lost once. I'm not strong. I've googled "How to arm wrestle" and "Arm wrestling techniques".

I just got home from church team bball training, btw. I looked at myself in the mirror. And I think I'm going to start working out again. Fyi, I have not since CNY started. I just got lazy. And I didn't care for a while. But now, seeing myself looking like this... can't take it. Will think up a schedule soon. Oorah.

Call me if you're interested in being my exercise buddy!

1st PAK

I sent my brother and 3 of his friends all the way to IKEA, the one near One U which is so far! With no other reason for going there. FYI, I have never sent anyone anywhere without some other ulterior motive. I just feel like it's inefficient, to go on a round trip just to drop someone off. Well, I guess my ulterior motive this time was to do kind acts.

I was slightly afraid that I would feel like a faker, because I am not a nice person, or so I thought. But since I did a Nice Thing, with the only motive being that I Want to Be a Nice Person, am I not being a nice person genuinely? Who's to say who I am, anyway? If I am one thing now, can I not be another the next moment, if I genuinely wanted to be?

Oorah.

Let me tell you why I think girls like bad boys. Because boys are all actually bad. We're all asses underneath. Any guy who is nice, is pretending to be nice. Trying to be nice. And while girls say they want a gentleman, they know deep down that gentlemen, are by definition, fakers. So since we all love honesty, and the only truly honest ones are the bad boys, girls like bad boys.

QED. Quite easily done.

I think I'm going mad.

I'm afraid you're completely bonkers. I'll tell you a secret, though. All the best people are.

--

It's from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, which I thought was nice, but not particularly extra-weird.

I really do think I'm losing my mind. Even as I type this I forget what I wanted to write about.

There, it's gone.

Ah it just came back. For your information, I was just hunched over the keyboard motionless for about half a minute.

I wanted to talk about Random Acts of Kindness. RAKs, Kristy calls them. I wanted to say that maybe I'll try it, because I've decided that maybe I want to be a nicer person. But then I realized that I'll never do a random act of kindness, because... nothing is random.

I had a clash in my timetable, which resulted in one lecture being shifted from an ordinary time slot to 5-7 pm on Monday. Because of this, I can no longer go for bible class. Somehow bible class was important enough in my life last year that when I lose it now, I feel that it must have happened for a reason. And everything happens for his reasons.

But still, I guess I'll do some Kindnesses. Even if they're not random. I'll do some PAKs. Planned Acts of Kindness. Starting right now.

I just asked my brother whether he wants to use my laptop. We're at grandma's. It's hellishly dull. I have slept for the past 4 hours. But! He just said no. I think it's because he's planning on how to get to a party tomorrow.

I'm going to have to find another PAK.

I just called a girl heavy. Becoming a nicer person is going to take some doing. ~_~


Oh yeah. I wrote this post by "letting my fingers go", something I've not done in quite a while. Sometime last year, it was. It felt pretty damn good.

Yeah, I also didn't hold back in basketball for the first time since I twisted my ankle last Tuesday when I played in uni. That felt pretty damn good too. I wore shoes. I hate to admit it, but shoes do help when it comes to braking and turning.

I've become lazy to explain it. The barefootedness. It's annoying now, when people ask. My answer of the moment is "Dog".

Jared, you suck lah.

Hot girl: Hey, did you cut your hair?

Jared: Huh? No...

Hot girl: You look more handsome today, for some reason...

Jared: What time of the month is it for you?... Because you know, if you were like, ovulating, in heat, it would make sense that guys would seem more attractive...

Hot girl: Jared, you suck lah.

Sigh I think I'm losing It.

Jared says (10:22 PM):
graip?
Aaron says (10:25 PM):
grip.
Jared says (10:25 PM):
grip whart
Aaron says (10:26 PM):
something.
someone.
who knows?
Jared says (10:26 PM):
SO INTENSE
Jared says (10:27 PM):
i dont' think that's the right word
Aaron says (10:30 PM):
who cares?
Jared says (10:31 PM):
jesus cares
jesus cares about you and me
and the birds of the trees
and the fish in the seas
Aaron says (10:31 PM):
i don't know if i can clap and believe at the same time.
Jared says (10:31 PM):
and even the cucumbers and peas
and the sun and the breeze
Jared says (10:32 PM):
thank yous and please
heehee i'm so funny

Does "true love" sometimes mean losing yourself?

What is your Self? Who are you? What makes you you? Name, nationality, sex, personality, history, etc?...

Who you are now, will not be who you are by the end of this sentence. Every second, you grow one second older, your cells die, your hair grows. Everything that you do will change you, even doing Nothing. You read an article that states an opinion on a subject that changes your opinion, did you not just lose a part of yourself? But you would have also gained something new.

The change that comes with true love will always be welcome, wanted. True love always means losing yourself. But it will also mean finding your Self.

When the Music Fades

Two men. One woman. She looks like a whore. It's getting violent. I don't think they're going to pay her.

Doo doo dee doo ba dee doo dee doo ba...

I hum the meaningless tune as I punch the first one. Right straight. Pow. Dad taught me how to punch. Damn, too strong, now my hand's stuck in his head. I push him off. There's a squelchy sound.

Doo doo dudu bee, squelch.

The second one finally realizes what he's up against and tries to run off, but the stupid bastard forgets that his pants are still around his ankles, and he trips. I grab his shoulders before he falls, spin him around. His penis is all shriveled up. Yeah, he's scared alright.

Mom taught me that when you knee someone in the balls, you don't aim for the balls. You go for the bastard's heart, and you get your knee there, through his crotch.

Doo deedee doo, crunch... Drip drip drip.

Hmph. Didn't get to the heart. I dropped the hunk of meat.

"You didn't have to kill them. Knock them around a little, then I take my money," the woman girl said as she searched the first body.

I was going to self-righteously reply that I did it because they were going to Rape Her, but the truth was, I just wasn't used to my new strength. But only for the first guy. The second, I don't know... the sight of him with his pants around his ankles, and his shriveled dick really annoyed me.

"Uh... Umm. Take care, good citizen!" I exclaimed as I shot up into the sky.

Doo deedly dee, whoosh!


Yeah. This is the best. Floating up here. Peaceful. The noise of the world is muted.

*Sniff* Damn. I have intestine on my jeans.

Would you rather be a Lion or a Hippo?

The Lion is so strong and cool, and majestic too, of course everyone would rather be a Lion, right? But... little birds don't rest on the Lion's fangs.

Yeah, manga inspires me so much. I just finished reading Zatch Bell! So awesome. But what am I going to do with my free time now?

Unu! Time to get even stronger! Two weeks has passed and I've exercised everyday. Time to up the "discipline". Starting tomorrow I'm going to wake up at 6 everyday. Yeah.

I've started coaching my brother's high school basketball team. It's every Tuesday after school! Besides reading manga and books, and playing L4D2, I've not been doing anything else. Hmmm. Holidays. Hehe.

Blogging once a week is not so bad. My next posts will be the 2 Writer'sGroup topics I've not completed! I'll do them for sure. Yes I will.

A week has passed...

Indeed, this blog has not been very active. I am sorry. I have not found the mood to write, indeed, I have barely had any thoughts worth sharing, and the little that I have had, I have shared with my sister, who has put them into words much more eloquently than I ever could (unless I tried hard).

I have a resolution this year, that I have kept, unlike the resolutions of years past. A week is already a record.

"To live a disciplined life"

It's vagueness allows me to define exactly what a disciplined life means. As of now, it means that I exercise, everyday. Soon, waking up early will be added in. =)

How to get a flat belly. Without going out of your way to exercise.

1. Never use the elevator. Running up takes the same time.

2. Eat just enough to stop being hungry. You'll save money too.

3. Suck in your belly, bringing your belly button as close to your spine as you can, and hold it there while taking 10 breaths or more. Repeat whenever free. It helps. Somehow.

4. Sleep earlier. Avoid midnight munchies.

5. Drink more water. Avoid water retention. If your body gets water constantly, it is more willing to let go.



TRUST ME! I know it works cause I've tried it! Cheng Hong this is for you!