"I am terrified of love. I think that true love is not just in loving others but also in allowing one's self to be loved by others."
-Jeannette, my sister.
When I read that on my sister's blog, my gizzard did a little flip-flop and the strings of my gut twanged so hard they nearly snapped. What I mean is that it struck me real hard.
I realized that I've never asked anyone to love me, I've never let anyone love me. I would be willing to die for any one of my friends, and I thought that meant that I loved them. But I never even considered what they would do for me, I never expected anything, I never thought of their feelings, because I thought that being loved was irrelevant, and of no importance.
I've never known true love.
I treat my relationship with God is just like any other. I've never felt like I needed Him, rather I arrogantly promise that if He ever asks me to do anything, I will not hesitate.
I need to realize I need God.
I need to be humble.
I need to be vulnerable.
How hard can it be? All I have to do is throw away a lifetime of believing that I'm invincible.
3 comments:
This is what I mean, you know, when I am "hostile". Haha...
wow, nice quote..
If we truly love someone, (bear in mind that love is a choice and not a feeling)....we would naturally allow them to love us. Loving others is the true test for it is a choice that one makes.
It is a given to allow oneself to be loved when we do love, thus no questions there.
Not allowing others to love us is easier to do because its part of loving ourselves, which is typically what all of us have a natural tendency to do anyway regardless of the expression or form it takes.
Take it from a guy who is in the same boat, just in a different cabin.
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