Monday, September 28, 2009

Dear Jared,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I’m joining the Convent. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg outside of your office and I saw you carve your initials into the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're open enough to understand how boring you are. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Best of luck on the sex change,
ChengHong.

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