I stay up too late chatting on MSN.

But I can't help it. The best conversations are had after midnight, when most of the world is asleep, and there are no distractions. We get sleepy though... Someone actually said this...

DR says (3:44 AM):
its not that i dont want to...
Jared says (3:44 AM):
cmon
DR says (3:44 AM):
its just that i dont wanna..

Love

No, this post isn't really about love. It's about language. About the inadequacy of language. About how language can be misleading, because words like "love" are used in so many ways that it takes on so many meanings and becomes so many different things.

One of the questions in my girlfriend form was "what is love to you?" and nobody gave the same answer as another person. Obviously no one actually completely agrees on what it is.

Things aren't black and white, in this world. The truth isn't so clear. But there is ONE truth. It just isn't known completely all the time, or it's just undefinable due to the inadequacy of language...

Did you know that Eskimoes have 14 different words for the different shades of white?

Self control

Self control is not holding yourself back, it's not avoiding the cliffs. Self control is jumping off the right one.

It's the first day of classes. I had an Awesome day.

I was going to blog about my really interesting subjects and my really boring lecturers, and how I feel so good because I did everything I set out to do today, but I got lazy. Hehe.

BYE!

Haha I'm editing it now. But I'm lazy so it's gonna be kinda incoherent and in bad english unlike the rest of my posts which are all really great. =p Man I can't believe I got lazy to blog so quick...

Ok I had breakfast at KFC, which is awesome the AM twister is awesome. But the drinks machine was rosak and there were lumps of milk powder in my tea that refused to be stirred away. Ooo and there was some sort of employee training going on it was a good show, good show.

Then I went to uni with my sister, and I had no idea what class I was going for cause I only wrote down the venue but not the class... And oh dear I was greeted by none other than the boringest lecturer in Monash.... it's really really not how I want to start my Monday mornings...
The class was Social and Cognitive psychology. And it's SUPER interesting. But I kept falling asleep. Trust me, this guy is the boringest lecturer in Monash. How boring? OK, I'll describe this subject to you, and you will have to admit that anyone that can make it boring has to be the boringest lecturer in Monash.

Psychology is the study of human behavior, and social psychology is about the study of human behavior in social situations and relationships between individuals (e.g. romance/ friendships) and groups (e.g. races/genders)... cognitive psychology is about what goes on inside people, in their heads and how their views affect their behavior... So in this unit, we're gonna learn and discuss about how the way we think and see the world (cognition) affects the way we behave in social situations!! ISN'T THAT COOL?

OK after two hours of boringness... I went for my next class... And when the lecturer walked in, my friend beside me was all NOOOOOO this is the boringest lecturer in monash and I was like heheheh you don't know the half of it... BUT BUT BUT my friend was RIGHT!! oh my gawd this guy just stole the boringest lecturer in monash award I tell you... Anyway, the subject is really interesting too. It's media texts.

Media texts is basically ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you see around you that conveys a message. Books, newspaper, TV, films, internet, billboards, flyers. Yep. Well the first lecture was about the idea that media texts aren't just a reflection of reality. They actually CONSTRUCT our reality. Because, reality is created in our mind. Reality is what we perceive. What is reality to you is not reality to me.

There's this example in my reading... OH and the reader (textbook) is as thick as a phonebook K. sick. can kill ppl one.... OK the example... there's this judge from cameroon who did not allow a woman to claim property, because he said "women are property. how can property own property?" That's his reality... Basically... our reality is affected by how we perceive things, and our worldview and our knowledge. And how is our knowledge of the world built? From the information we receive which we get from media texts!... I know I didn't explain it so well... but.. It's really interesting ok. Yeah and this lecturer made it boring.... He was talking about ideology (which means "a way of thinking and looking at the world") and marxism... And he was all "this is not the right time to talk about marxism..." And then he spends the next 30 minutes droning on about it. In an uninteresting way.

OK I fell asleep many times in both lectures... But after they were done I went and read my books and I found out that my subjects this semester are so interesting.

Oh yeah this is why I had an awesome day: I did everything I wanted to do. And more.

The 4 things I promised myself to do: Study, Swim, Exercise and Chores.

OK so after class I had to wait for my sis to finish class so I was in the library and I studied. Yeah I studied and I did not go to cybercafe to play cod4. Yay!

When I got home I straightaway cleaned the floor. which is my chore. Hehe. Yay!

While I was cleaning the floor, in between rooms, I did pullups and pushups and situps! I'm sexy.

And then I played suddenattack (which is really funny and has bad english) and I was awesome. Yay!

ANd then I went for a swim with Nina and Fook. Whoo!

Then I went to the mamak and had dinner on my own, and read my book... and then I walked home the long way! So nice... So nice... I haven't had alone time in a while, I've been spending too much time with others, and this was really good... Yeah.

And now I'm back... And I'm so happy. Today was a good day. Hahaha. Happy, but never satisfied. Never satisfied.

Fly

It's a bunch of meandering nonsense! Read it! And tell me if there's anything I need to edit, I wrote it while half-asleep, forgive me.


I felt the ant make its way across my chest. It was ticklish, but not unbearably so. At any other time, I would have crushed it, but not today. It was too hot, and I was too bored. So I watched it, as it made its way across my chest, and I wondered, does it know how close it came to death? Did it know that it was on a human being? So bored... So hot...


I felt wet air rush past my face. Then I broke out of the cloud, and the endless blue sky stretched out before me. Although the sun was strong and bright, it was still cold, up so high. The warmth of the Magic Flying Pork Bun under me helped. It was wonderful. Alone up here. The heat of the sun on my face, the warm smells of Pork Bun below me, and no troubles in sight.

Suddenly, it began to shrink.

"There's not enough room!" cried Kristy.
"Jared, you have to jump!" said Jeannette.

They were on the MFPB too, and it would not fit three. I jumped. And I flew.

Faster then the Pork Bun ever could. Faster than sound. Faster than light. So fast, that I couldn't even tell how fast I was going. I couldn't even tell if I was flying.

I wasn't. I wasn't flying. I fell.

The air was thick, like jelly, I kicked desperately, flapped my arms, it helped, but oh so slightly. And I kept falling. And a giant mouth, so full of giant teeth, opened beneath me. For a moment, so afraid. I could not push myself upwards anymore, but I still had some control, just enough, just enough to aim...


When I emerged from the blackness, I was in a prison cell. There were others with me, in the cage. We seemed to be underground, in some kind of cave or cavern, but it was well-lit, even though I could not spot any source of light.

The others were thin, weak, and sickly-looking. I limped to the one closest to me, there was a huge weight chained to one of my legs. I asked him where we were. Slowly, he looked up. His eyes, they were so empty.

"They can't help you. They won't help themselves, even."

I turned around to face the speaker. She was so small, the tips of her short, spiky hair would not even reach my chest. But she was so strong. And her eyes, they twinkled, they sparkled, they burned.

And she said, "Let's get out of here."

As we ran through the dark tunnels, she explained that this was not my world. This was a world... ruled by Indians! A dark world where all non-Indians were captured and enslaved. Then he was in front of us. The great dark overlord Ravindran.

I punched him. Or, more accurately, I tried to punch him. My fist never really got there, it seemed as though the whole universe suddenly decided to grab on to my elbow and pull me back. I gritted my teeth and fought forward, snarling... And then time stopped, and I heard her say:

"I said, let's get out of here."


She pulled me through a golden field. I saw a woman with the head of a lioness, her naked body covered in fur. I saw a young girl child bite into the neck of a man, his screams of pain and pleasure fading as She pulled me quickly past. She pulled me into a small, dark room, and I locked the door behind us. I reached out to pull her close, but as I touched her, she turned into nothing, mere smoke that drifted gently past me, leaving me alone, with only the memory of her scent in my mouth.

I opened the door of the janitor's closet and walked out into the school corridor. I was still in a daze as I walked to the canteen. Why didn't I get her number? Wait. I didn't even get her name...

Everyone is laughing. Why is everyone laughing? Oh yeah. It's because I'm naked. But why? It's not funny at all. So they stopped laughing.

I rolled my shoulders and stretched out my arms, reaching up to the ceiling. First my fingers touch it, then my palms press against it, soon my head reaches the top, and I have to bend my legs and crouch down to fit in the building. I push, and the roof comes off. Still I grow. I leave the ground and the tiny humans far behind me as I take a step out of the city, towards the sea. Another step and I've reached the water, but it is shallow, and I barely make a splash. Another step, I've walked off the planet.

I'm alone in the dark again. So cold. Then I see a small light. A tiny flame hanging in the void. I draw near, and cup my hands around it. It's not enough, and still I feel cold. It gets smaller, it's starting to fade. Frantically I grasp at it, and it disappears in my hand.

And then there was Nothing.

What's wrong with me?

I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am. It's not enough, so the next day, I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 4 am. I get bored, so I go back to sleep and get too much. So the next night I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am. It's not enough, so the next day, I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 4 am. I get bored, so I go back to sleep and get too much. So the next night I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am. It's not enough, so the next day, I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 4 am. I get bored, so I go back to sleep and get too much. So the next night I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am. It's not enough, so the next day, I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 4 am. I get bored, so I go back to sleep and get too much. So the next night I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am. It's not enough, so the next day, I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 4 am. I get bored, so I go back to sleep and get too much. So the next night I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am. It's not enough, so the next day, I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 4 am. I get bored, so I go back to sleep and get too much. So the next night I sleep at 3 am, then wake up at 8 am.

Yeah, I'm updating for the sake of updating. This post shall meander pointlessly.

I just did 15 chin-ups in one go! Whooo I'm so awesome, I can do 15 chin-ups in one set. Try it! My mom is training the dog behind me, she's teaching it how to not eat until she says "Eat", so the dog just has to stare at the food, and not move till he's allowed to eat. It's delayed gratification. The idea that pleasurable things will be enjoyed more if satisfaction is postponed. When does food taste best? When you're hungry. Plain water feels like heaven in your throat after marching under a blazing sun. A simple piss can get you high if you hold it as long as you can, then hold it another 5 minutes, then let it go. Yesterday I acted in a short film. I had to say wedding vows over and over again. I won't forget it so quickly.. I shall write it from memory.

"I, William Tan Jian Yong, take thee, Sarah OooOOh Sarah! I like that name Lim Wei Shia, to be my wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to cherish, till death do us part. And with this ring, I thee wed."

And that's when I put the ring on Kristy's finger. It was too small. She had to oil her finger. There were other scenes... We had a pillow fight, and I chased her around the couch. Then got angry scenes too. One of them was the one in the car. Dixon was our stunt cameraman. He was in the back seat, and to get a shot of Kristy from the outside while the car was moving, he actually leaned his whole upper body out of the back window, and filmed Kristy gazing out the passenger window! So crazy! You know what else is crazy? Finishing expert mode in 53 minutes! Just Dixon and I. Expert mode=Easy mode. Normal mode=Race mode. Dixon's mod=Normal mode.

Dixon's mod: Tank has... A LOT of life. Feels like x5 of expert tank, which has become really easy to fight. Normal infected only die when headshotted. Horde is larger, comes more frequently. So does the tank, no tank limit per level... -.- Yeah it's fun.

Yesterday I played easy mode in Cybertime. FOR FREE! Hahaha Nina brought her 3 friends, Juliana, Rachel and Christina to play L4D, but somehow I got to play... It was so funny, and strangely, I was the only guy... But I was Zoey!

Ah and this is actually the only thing I was planning to blog about...

Opposite my house, in the park, there are a lot of affairs going on! Somebody come and take pictures!! I have no camera........

Oh yeah I look bad in photos, camera hates me. The End.