Poke Poke* It's so dead

I wanted to blog a few times, about random dreams and plans for the future and such, but, so lazy, so lazy. My excuse is that to blog I need to sign into my google account using my Hotmail while my gmail is always signed in, so I'd have to sign out of my gmail, and sign into google accounts using my Hotmail and it's just too troublesome!

God is a He,

a Father, a Son. The ultimate embodiment of a Man for the rest of us aspire to, being able to Create without a woman... I guess it was pretty easy for the predominantly male leadership of the Church to solidify the ideology of what men and women are supposed to be.

Oooh this is a ranty post. Heh it's thanks to this 5 pillars of Manhood article.

Now the first major issue with this article is that the "Pillars of Manhood" are all in the context of "loving and respecting" a woman, creating a focus on the relationship between men and women, where this idea of what men are supposed to be, determines the assumptions of what women are.

1. "Lead. A man must be the leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship"

So... Women are indecisive followers. No excuses.


2. "Protect. A real man of God will protect his partner...Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with."

So... Women require protection, they are vulnerable, emotional and, in danger and distress.


3. "Provide. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man...Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care.."

So... Women are dependent on the Man, because if a man can't provide he isn't a man. Women are beautiful fragile flowers, to be handled with care, provided for in every way.


4. "Integrity. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation."

At first, I was okay with pillar number 4. But I thought more about it... In old times, women were assumed to be fickle, prone to flights of fancy, and there was not much weight placed on their words. If Integrity is a pillar of manhood, what is it to women? If it is a quality that should be prized in both men and women, why is it a pillar of MANhood?


5. "Courage. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties."

Same type of problem as pillar 4... What does making Courage a pillar of Manhood assume about women? Couldn't they use courage too? Aren't women brave too? Oh yeah, give me some crap about how it's a different type of courage, please.

Just look at that line. It's disgusting. The courageous knight rescuing the beautiful damsel. Oh snap if a man was saved by a woman he should rip his balls off right then and there.


I realize that my reaction against this article is almost completely the same as my reaction to Wild at Heart, and now I'm thinking, "wow Jaeson Ma must have gotten most of his points from there...." So what is a man? A real Man: Don't need sleep, Hunts, Can't be defined.... Meh obviously, I don't have the answer...

Or do I? The thing is, it would be MY answer. Yours may not be the same.

Part of being a Man is not needing sleep.

Yeah, I didn't sleep.
I'm 21 today.
There was a post in the planning, with mentions of how I got Milo + Oreo McFlurry, and pro-procrastinating, and a wish list, etc. etc.... But I'm not a Man yet, definitely...need...sleep.
I'm going to KO sometime later.

Failure

When you bite off more than you can chew... Suck on it till you can.

I dreamt that I completely didn't do the Results and Discussion section for the stupid Research Report and I handed it up. Strangely, in my title, there was an almond flake. And I was complaining that after printing the texture and colour is completely different.

Felt like parents getting divorced

I dreamt that two people I care about, a couple that are to me, so... legendary... broke up. The strange thing was, I found out because the guy was talking to me, and he told me a secret, that they had actually been apart for a while, and was keeping appearances up because he knew that their breakup would break so many people's heart...

Sausage Fist

So before I slept last night, I was thinking about the future, and I said that it'd be nice, God, if you showed me what I will be in the future in a dream. I'm pretty sure he didn't answer me.

I was in the jungle, battling cavemen. Wachow! Kick em into the hot mud pools!

Suddenly, a caveman in a business suit appeared. The rest of them hung back to watch, obviously this was the caveman boss or something. The business suited up caveman rushed forward and grabbed me, and was about to throw me into the hot mud pool! Somehow I knew that this caveman was a striker, and by grappling and trying to throw me, he was looking down on me.

But his grip was pretty insane, and I knew that he was perfectly capable of throwing me all the way to the pool. Quickly I shouted, "Frankfurter!!" and in an instant, the caveman was holding a bunch of sausages instead of me.

He was shocked, and I took the opportunity to attack him, punch punch punch Wing Chun style! He laughed it off, and started throwing lightning fast kicks which was his true specialty. I defended desperately, grab grab grab the kicks! After the exchange, I jumped back, my hands were hurting pretty bad.

But! Look at the caveman's legs! They kinda looked like sausages. It was time for the final attack, I rushed forward and entangled his necktie with a long sausage rope, and tied him up! Then I threw him into the hot mud pool MUAHAHHAHAA!

Keeping it alive. DreamJournalling lol

I dreamt of pork burgers, it was from a truck stall, after that I swam across a lake to a child care centre place, where a little girl rode on my back. She was nine. She wasn't mine.

I am quite obvious sometimes, and my dreams are pretty easy to analyze, but don't be fooled, I am a layered pastry. With chunky peanut butter and curry.

Can't wait for uni to be over, for myself to get better, the moment I stop feeling like my body weighs a ton, I'm going to run. Hmm.. rhyming lines. Swim too. Wanna buy a bike. And a sledgehammer.

It's playing in my head.

Open your eyes I see
Your eyes are open
Wear no disguise for me
Come into the open

When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

Always, I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony,
harmony oh love~~~

Melting the ice for me
Jump into the ocean
Hold back the tide I see
Your love in motion

When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

Always, I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony,
harmony oh love~~~

I'm sorry, Charis.

Sometimes I'm irritating. I don't know why, and I'm sure I could help it... but at the time I do it, I think it's pretty funny.

*hunter spawn sound* I got an sms.

It said, "Hey charis here. Do u have rachel chua number?"

I wanted to send the number immediately. But instead....

I replied, "Yes."

*hunter spawn sound* "Lols. Can you give me her number? Thanks."

Oh dear, it's not over.

"Yes."

*hunter spawn sound* "Hey. Can you text me rachel chua number? I really need it urgently."

I resisted the urge to answer "Yes." again.

3 Month Plan! (Sept 13th - Dec 13th)

This time it allows gym. I went yesterday, with Andrew, Daniel and Brandon. I pressed 95lbs, which is 44kg, which is only slightly higher than the average Japanese high school student's press, 40kg (according to the manga: EyeShield21).

Exercising with friends is definitely much much better than doing it alone for sure, but I was reminded how much I hate treadmills due to the hamster sensation. I got pretty sick of that Maybank that always stayed the exact same distance away from me. Anyway, the bounciness of running on the treadmill resulted in this conversation:

Jared: *Puuuuuut* Hey guys, sorry, I farted.
Guys: Arrrrghh *choke choke* AAA Aaaa
Jared: Muahahaha
Everyone: HeeHeeHohohooho
.
.
5 minutes of intense running later
.
.
Jared: *starts feeling relaxed* Hey! Hey guys! I think I got my SECOND WIND! *Phreeeeeet* Ooh?... SECOND WIND! Hahahhahahaha I farted AGAIN!

Good Times

Time is passing pretty fast, week 8 is already over. I've been having a good time, and I only count seconds in my head when I have nothing to do.

On Wednesday, I did two assignments, listened to a great talk where that lawyer dude explained my opinions much better than I can (I just can't be bothered to rationalize a lot of my points, my maths teacher said I like shortcuts too much), went to Murni's... and I just realized that I have not had Ramly the entire week.

Thursday, I went to work at this show car detailing place with Chris Sam. But I was there an hour early as I forgot the roads would be absolutely empty. We were undermanned, and overworked due to people wanting to prettify their cars before balik kampung... But it was fun. Very fun. When I got back home I decided to sleep on my mattress which I've been neglecting since 30 hour famine...

I woke up at 12 p.m. on Friday. Had a huge raya lunch at grandma's house, Malay neighbours gave beef and chicken rendang, ketupat and kuihs, etc etc and we had siu yok and chicken pie too~ Then I went home... And my bed called to me... I woke up in the evening and my brother's tuition was canceled! So we were all "let's go watch a movie!" Except for V ming, who was all "cannot get tickets one lah" But I said "just go" (BTW Friday was my winging-it day, because of the excessive productivity of the past two days, hmm turns out when I wing-it, much time is spent sleeping)... Yes and we watched Resident Evil 4. Woohoo! Zombies! Boom. Using coins for shotgun ammo. Outstanding idea.

Ah after that it was sleepover at Danny's! I was lazy to tell the long story but hey! Brandon did it already! *CLICK*

We had a good time, but I have to correct Brandon, we slept at SEVEN a.m. And Saw V was fantastic. Taking the idea of how near-death experiences can change us greatly, and using it as a rehabilitation technique? It's outstanding indeed. For me, what makes a good horror movie is more than the effects, setting, plot etc... but also the psychological group dynamics, how the behavior of individuals contribute to the survival of the group...

Now, Brandon left before lunch, so he missed this extra part of the story. We went to Taipan for charsiewsiuyokfan. I double parked, because there was no place, and of course while happily in the middle of my food, pon pon pon, and I ran out and the guy was furious, fuming! Some uncle who ignored my cries of apology and immediately began blasting me with words that flowed past my ears without touching me, because well, I wasn't listening to him. Then he started to angrily complain to a nearby police officer (Yeah how unlucky, suddenly got police officer there) saying that I should be saman-ed.

So the policeman said "you pergi balai situ". I turned to the right, and oh wow, there was a balai about half a block away. So I moved my car to the balai, and walked into it with a heavy heart, thinking "haih. saman. I had a bad feeling when I double parked. I really did. I've gotta trust my gut more"... Anyway, when I went in, the policeman said "I tolong you, you tolong me" and I thought to myself "tapi I only ada 3 ringgit".... Turns out he meant that that uncle was an asshole that would bother him and say he tak buat kerja if he didn't give me saman. So he gave me a random police flyer and said "you buat macam ini saman saja la yeah. jalan keluar sedih sedih macam baru kena saman." ... HEE HEE HEE~ I even got a parking because he let me leave my car in front of the balai... Selamat Hari Raya, police-bro.

After that, I went shopping with Li Wen, which was so funny. Why was it funny? I don't know exactly why, well, Li Wen is funny, in general. When we came out it was raining super heavily so, we ran in the rain! Whoo! It was more like swimming I tell you. So fun. Haha. Then I had popiah at grandma's. My brother drove there and back! Whoo! Soon I will have to drive a lot less! I don't like driving! GO GO DRIVER-BRO!~

Hmmm... What's missing? I know! Pictures! Btw, Definitely, Maybe is now one of my favorite movies.

Abstinence

Have you ever had meat after a week of being vegetarian?

Have you taken a sip of water after hours of walking under an afternoon sun?

Have you slept on a bed after two weeks of sleeping on the floor?

...

That meat would taste like heaven, the water like life itself, and... you would wake up in the afternoon. Have lunch. Then go back for a nap.

Hey. I had two productive days in a row. Did you see my facebook status?

"2 days of productivity in a row!!! OMG OMG! Passed up TWO assignments yesterday! Today, got a free T shirt, lunch, and dinner, a lesson on how to prettify cars, exercise, a good time, met interesting people, and got paid rm50. Win? Yeah I think so."

Time is a gift

A free and precious gift to be enjoyed, appreciated.

Too often we see it as a resource, to be managed, hoarded, and used "wisely"...

One Two Jus!

I want to Learn

Food,

Language,

Cars,

Martial Arts,

Yoga, I want to do a split...

Massage,

Parkour,

Rock Climbing,

Sailing,

Art, wood, plants,

Dance,

Music, the harmonica!

Love.


In that order. Or not.

Always, Ancora Imparo.

Humility

To see my own ignorance and insignificance, and realize the death of the Ego, to be free of pride and arrogance, yet never modest or self-deprecating, a complete surrender of the self to the One that has always and will always be the Truth.
.
.
.


P.S. I wasn't flexing.

How narcissism made me inefficient.

Mom asked me to hang the clothes as she left for grandma's.

I took the clothes out from the washing machine. I walked by a mirror. "Woah," I thought to myself, I look so good~.

I started to hang the clothes. The mirror was right there in the same area, unfortunately, making me pause frequently to ogle myself, wondering why I look so exceptionally sexy~ this fine Merdeka! morning.

I finally realized that the sunburn I got from KG outing has become the beautiful~ tan it was always meant to be.

It took me really really long to finish hanging the clothes.

Generosity

When you see a need, fill that need.

I will always flow, please, never let me be stagnant.

I had a dream

That I drank some beer. Then I threw up, violently. I could taste the vomit in my mouth, it burned in my throat.

"Alcohol is for pickling things that are dead. Or people who wish to be."
"Beer is made from a grain that only cows can consume, and even they need two stomachs to manage the task."

Guru Patik says

"First we will open the Earth chakra, located at the base of the spine, it deals with survival, and is blocked by fear. What are you most afraid of? You must surrender your fears... let it flow down the creek.

Next is the Water chakra, which deals with pleasure, and is blocked by guilt. What do you blame yourself for? If you are to be a positive influence on the world, you have to forgive yourself. (It's located at the sexual organs)

Third is the Fire chakra, located in the stomach. This chakra deals with willpower, and is blocked by shame.

The fourth chakra is located in the heart, it deals with Love and is blocked by grief.

The fifth in the chain is located in the throat, it deals with Truth, and is blocked by lies. Especially the ones you tell yourself.

The sixth pool of energy is the Light chakra, located in the centre of the forehead. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The greatest illusion in this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. Everything is connected.

The Thought chakra is located at the crown of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachments. Meditate on what attaches you to this world, now, let all of those attachments go and let them flow down the river, forgotten."