I'm sorry, Charis.

Sometimes I'm irritating. I don't know why, and I'm sure I could help it... but at the time I do it, I think it's pretty funny.

*hunter spawn sound* I got an sms.

It said, "Hey charis here. Do u have rachel chua number?"

I wanted to send the number immediately. But instead....

I replied, "Yes."

*hunter spawn sound* "Lols. Can you give me her number? Thanks."

Oh dear, it's not over.

"Yes."

*hunter spawn sound* "Hey. Can you text me rachel chua number? I really need it urgently."

I resisted the urge to answer "Yes." again.

3 Month Plan! (Sept 13th - Dec 13th)

This time it allows gym. I went yesterday, with Andrew, Daniel and Brandon. I pressed 95lbs, which is 44kg, which is only slightly higher than the average Japanese high school student's press, 40kg (according to the manga: EyeShield21).

Exercising with friends is definitely much much better than doing it alone for sure, but I was reminded how much I hate treadmills due to the hamster sensation. I got pretty sick of that Maybank that always stayed the exact same distance away from me. Anyway, the bounciness of running on the treadmill resulted in this conversation:

Jared: *Puuuuuut* Hey guys, sorry, I farted.
Guys: Arrrrghh *choke choke* AAA Aaaa
Jared: Muahahaha
Everyone: HeeHeeHohohooho
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5 minutes of intense running later
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Jared: *starts feeling relaxed* Hey! Hey guys! I think I got my SECOND WIND! *Phreeeeeet* Ooh?... SECOND WIND! Hahahhahahaha I farted AGAIN!

Good Times

Time is passing pretty fast, week 8 is already over. I've been having a good time, and I only count seconds in my head when I have nothing to do.

On Wednesday, I did two assignments, listened to a great talk where that lawyer dude explained my opinions much better than I can (I just can't be bothered to rationalize a lot of my points, my maths teacher said I like shortcuts too much), went to Murni's... and I just realized that I have not had Ramly the entire week.

Thursday, I went to work at this show car detailing place with Chris Sam. But I was there an hour early as I forgot the roads would be absolutely empty. We were undermanned, and overworked due to people wanting to prettify their cars before balik kampung... But it was fun. Very fun. When I got back home I decided to sleep on my mattress which I've been neglecting since 30 hour famine...

I woke up at 12 p.m. on Friday. Had a huge raya lunch at grandma's house, Malay neighbours gave beef and chicken rendang, ketupat and kuihs, etc etc and we had siu yok and chicken pie too~ Then I went home... And my bed called to me... I woke up in the evening and my brother's tuition was canceled! So we were all "let's go watch a movie!" Except for V ming, who was all "cannot get tickets one lah" But I said "just go" (BTW Friday was my winging-it day, because of the excessive productivity of the past two days, hmm turns out when I wing-it, much time is spent sleeping)... Yes and we watched Resident Evil 4. Woohoo! Zombies! Boom. Using coins for shotgun ammo. Outstanding idea.

Ah after that it was sleepover at Danny's! I was lazy to tell the long story but hey! Brandon did it already! *CLICK*

We had a good time, but I have to correct Brandon, we slept at SEVEN a.m. And Saw V was fantastic. Taking the idea of how near-death experiences can change us greatly, and using it as a rehabilitation technique? It's outstanding indeed. For me, what makes a good horror movie is more than the effects, setting, plot etc... but also the psychological group dynamics, how the behavior of individuals contribute to the survival of the group...

Now, Brandon left before lunch, so he missed this extra part of the story. We went to Taipan for charsiewsiuyokfan. I double parked, because there was no place, and of course while happily in the middle of my food, pon pon pon, and I ran out and the guy was furious, fuming! Some uncle who ignored my cries of apology and immediately began blasting me with words that flowed past my ears without touching me, because well, I wasn't listening to him. Then he started to angrily complain to a nearby police officer (Yeah how unlucky, suddenly got police officer there) saying that I should be saman-ed.

So the policeman said "you pergi balai situ". I turned to the right, and oh wow, there was a balai about half a block away. So I moved my car to the balai, and walked into it with a heavy heart, thinking "haih. saman. I had a bad feeling when I double parked. I really did. I've gotta trust my gut more"... Anyway, when I went in, the policeman said "I tolong you, you tolong me" and I thought to myself "tapi I only ada 3 ringgit".... Turns out he meant that that uncle was an asshole that would bother him and say he tak buat kerja if he didn't give me saman. So he gave me a random police flyer and said "you buat macam ini saman saja la yeah. jalan keluar sedih sedih macam baru kena saman." ... HEE HEE HEE~ I even got a parking because he let me leave my car in front of the balai... Selamat Hari Raya, police-bro.

After that, I went shopping with Li Wen, which was so funny. Why was it funny? I don't know exactly why, well, Li Wen is funny, in general. When we came out it was raining super heavily so, we ran in the rain! Whoo! It was more like swimming I tell you. So fun. Haha. Then I had popiah at grandma's. My brother drove there and back! Whoo! Soon I will have to drive a lot less! I don't like driving! GO GO DRIVER-BRO!~

Hmmm... What's missing? I know! Pictures! Btw, Definitely, Maybe is now one of my favorite movies.

Abstinence

Have you ever had meat after a week of being vegetarian?

Have you taken a sip of water after hours of walking under an afternoon sun?

Have you slept on a bed after two weeks of sleeping on the floor?

...

That meat would taste like heaven, the water like life itself, and... you would wake up in the afternoon. Have lunch. Then go back for a nap.

Hey. I had two productive days in a row. Did you see my facebook status?

"2 days of productivity in a row!!! OMG OMG! Passed up TWO assignments yesterday! Today, got a free T shirt, lunch, and dinner, a lesson on how to prettify cars, exercise, a good time, met interesting people, and got paid rm50. Win? Yeah I think so."

Time is a gift

A free and precious gift to be enjoyed, appreciated.

Too often we see it as a resource, to be managed, hoarded, and used "wisely"...

One Two Jus!

I want to Learn

Food,

Language,

Cars,

Martial Arts,

Yoga, I want to do a split...

Massage,

Parkour,

Rock Climbing,

Sailing,

Art, wood, plants,

Dance,

Music, the harmonica!

Love.


In that order. Or not.

Always, Ancora Imparo.

Humility

To see my own ignorance and insignificance, and realize the death of the Ego, to be free of pride and arrogance, yet never modest or self-deprecating, a complete surrender of the self to the One that has always and will always be the Truth.
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P.S. I wasn't flexing.

How narcissism made me inefficient.

Mom asked me to hang the clothes as she left for grandma's.

I took the clothes out from the washing machine. I walked by a mirror. "Woah," I thought to myself, I look so good~.

I started to hang the clothes. The mirror was right there in the same area, unfortunately, making me pause frequently to ogle myself, wondering why I look so exceptionally sexy~ this fine Merdeka! morning.

I finally realized that the sunburn I got from KG outing has become the beautiful~ tan it was always meant to be.

It took me really really long to finish hanging the clothes.

Generosity

When you see a need, fill that need.

I will always flow, please, never let me be stagnant.

I had a dream

That I drank some beer. Then I threw up, violently. I could taste the vomit in my mouth, it burned in my throat.

"Alcohol is for pickling things that are dead. Or people who wish to be."
"Beer is made from a grain that only cows can consume, and even they need two stomachs to manage the task."

Guru Patik says

"First we will open the Earth chakra, located at the base of the spine, it deals with survival, and is blocked by fear. What are you most afraid of? You must surrender your fears... let it flow down the creek.

Next is the Water chakra, which deals with pleasure, and is blocked by guilt. What do you blame yourself for? If you are to be a positive influence on the world, you have to forgive yourself. (It's located at the sexual organs)

Third is the Fire chakra, located in the stomach. This chakra deals with willpower, and is blocked by shame.

The fourth chakra is located in the heart, it deals with Love and is blocked by grief.

The fifth in the chain is located in the throat, it deals with Truth, and is blocked by lies. Especially the ones you tell yourself.

The sixth pool of energy is the Light chakra, located in the centre of the forehead. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The greatest illusion in this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. Everything is connected.

The Thought chakra is located at the crown of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachments. Meditate on what attaches you to this world, now, let all of those attachments go and let them flow down the river, forgotten."

Simplicity

What, or how much you have, has NOTHING to do with how happy you are, how good your life is. There is always a choice, a way to change one's circumstances.

I wrote this on the Wall of Hope, in Monash University's 30 hour famine camp. It's incredibly easy this time somehow.

Simplicity. This is probably the easiest one for me.

Flexibility

"The extent to which a person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in novel, creative ways"

To be adaptable, changeable, ready for anything. For body and mind to be fluid and moving... Flexibility is definitely a trait of Water.

Sexuality

How do we express our sexuality? What are expressions of sexuality? Is it the intention that matters?

"A look can be as sensual as touch, a finger brushed lightly over a cheek as erotic as penetration" - John White

Uncle Iroh says

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."

"The stomach is the source of energy in your body, it is called the Sea of Chi... but in my case, it's more like a vast ocean! HAHAHAHAHAHA"

Openness

Openness involves active imagination, aesthetic sensitivity, attentiveness to inner feelings, preference for variety, and intellectual curiosity (Costa & McCrae, 1992).

For me, this trait also refers to being honest, without deceit or shame.

But before this, I've been ignoring the emotional aspect of openness, I think I've somehow shut down my feelings... I woke up at 3.45 a.m. this morning, crying, because I had a dream that I had a Big Dog and it died.

p.s. I'm going to get in touch with my feelings~

SelfControl

Only by knowing the Self, by awareness and balance, instead of suppression of desires, true mastery comes when the truth is realized, control itself is an illusion.

p.s. I am now vegetarian till after the 30 hour famine.

Patience

Persevere. There is only Calm. No rush, no haste. Anger and frustration have no place.

40 days Fast

Side note, I am quite annoyed by word replacement, for example, religion vs way of life, ritual vs practices, and I think you're wrong vs Yes this is what I believe but you have the right to believe whatever you want to believe and yes part of my belief is that I am right and my God is the one and only.

What's up with the tolerance/pussyfooting around all afraid of offending others? I hate being politically correct. Do words matter? A genuine smile is worth more to me than a false "Thank you"... "Fuck" said lovingly vs a rapist saying "let me make love to you"...

Language is annoying and I wonder if animals ever misunderstand each other. Okay side note is over.


I shall fast from BFH. <<< This is the main post.